Police statistics count around 70 victims of the loverboy scam in Germany every year - the number of unreported cases is likely to be much higher. Using the film "du gehörst mir" (you belong to me), the pupils from the Carl Schaefer School at Scala took a closer look at the loverboy method, which very few of them had heard of before, let alone knew more about. The film depicts very impressively how a "loverboy" uses feigned love and promises of a future together to make a girl from a good family compliant, pursuing just one goal: to force his victim into prostitution as quickly as possible. While the girl is really in love and falls deeper and deeper into the emotional maelstrom of her lover boy, the latter has only one perfidious plan: once the girl, his supposed "princess", is in bondage to him, he can earn money from her by forcing her into prostitution.
Sandra Norak, once a victim of this method herself and now a prospective lawyer and educator about the dangers of the loverboy scam, confirmed from her own experience what the film shows. The loverboys mainly approach the girls via social media, says Norak. And once the emotional bond has developed and the girls think they are in a real relationship, the trap snaps shut. She also allowed herself to be prostituted out of love for her lover boy and fell deeper and deeper into the world of prostitution with its very own laws. As her dependency and entanglement in this world grew, so did her distance from her original social environment. Norak says that it is difficult to get out and that it leaves behind destroyed souls.
Sabine Constabel, the second interviewee alongside Sandra Norak, also emphasized that prostitution is rarely voluntary, but is almost always accompanied by coercion and violence and destroys the women both physically and psychologically. As the founder of the "Sisters" association, which helps prostituted women to leave prostitution, she can draw on many years of experience. It is an illusion that body and mind can be separated in prostitution. According to Sabine Constabel, the women suffer massive psychological damage in addition to the physical damage. Prostitution often goes hand in hand with drug addiction and suicide attempts, because the forced situation and the experience of violence is difficult for the women to bear.
Both Sandra Norak and Sabine Constabel encouraged the students to be alert if there are signs that a classmate or friend may have become the victim of a loverboy. It helps to address the suspicion, but this should be done without reproach or pressure. Keeping the door open to family and friends despite the distance can help a lot when leaving the closed world of prostitution. It is also advisable to report it to the police, as it is a criminal offense. Those affected
themselves are ashamed and, due to their dependency, are not in a position to make a statement against their loverboy pimp and generally deny their predicament.
Overall, the two interviewees emphasized to the students that it is important to listen to one's own boundaries. In a fantasy of sexuality that is widely influenced by porn, this is the best protection against assaults and boundary violations - even beyond the loverboy fad.
Parallel to the event at Scala, around 120 young men watched a documentary on the subject of prostitution and its consequences in the auditorium of the Carl Schaefer School. From Frankfurt street prostitution to Hamburg's Reeperbahn, hotspots of prostitution came into view. In particular, young women affected by prostitution were interviewed, revealing the often shockingly harsh reality of women in drug and poverty-related prostitution. Clients also openly expressed their views and assessments and were well aware of the degrading situation of many young women in the red light district. One of the clients confessed: "I would never let this happen to me, not at any price" - and went straight to a brothel in Cologne the next moment.
The young men's questions in the auditorium revolved around the legality of prostitution, the voluntary nature of prostitutes, the reasons for forced prostitution and the role of social media. Detective Inspector Wolfgang Fink from the human trafficking department at the Baden-Württemberg State Office of Criminal Investigation was a proven expert on the podium, who had helped to shed light on the criminal machinations behind the supposedly clean brothel "Paradise". He was able to demonstrate credibly and with a high level of expert knowledge that the myth of "happy sex" and wellness oases spread by brothel operators to this day has nothing to do with reality. The truth is that young girls, mainly from south-eastern Europe, are constantly flooding into Germany and are mercilessly exploited by pimps and human traffickers in the "German brothel". "Is there also good prostitution?" was one of the students' questions. The answer is clear: the number of mainly young women in mass and forced prostitution far outweighs the number of self-employed prostitutes. These are the exception rather than the rule.
One thing became clear from the event: prostitution is not a trivial offense, claims many victims and is an extremely lucrative business, especially for pimps and brothel owners, and predominantly takes place in a highly criminal environment. Against the background of this information on prostitution, the question of human dignity very quickly arises in relation to the young women who are prostituted. H. Edgar Lichtner, Managing Director of the Ludwigsburg Scala, who also sat on the podium, has a clear position on this: for him, it is by no means a sign of masculinity to go to a brothel after graduation or a graduation party. And moderator Jörg Maihoff from the Ludwigsburg "Alliance against Forced Prostitution and Human Trafficking" posed the question for all men in the room: "Would we want to expect our relatives, sisters and girlfriends to lead such a life of degradation and permanent coercion?" This rhetorical question could become a guiding principle for action.
The young men were highly focused for over two hours, asked their questions openly and thanked the audience for the exciting morning with a long round of applause. The young women also gave very positive feedback on the importance and relevance of the topic of "loverboys".
